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1. Morning Devotion

I wake and your name is already there,
a quiet hum beneath my ribs.
I inventory your possible joys,
your possible sorrows—
each one a prayer I wear like skin.

What does the light look like
through your window today?
Does it catch the gold in your eyes
or pool at your feet, patient as a promise?

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2. The Theory of You

Some say love is mathematics—
a problem to solve, a sum of parts.
But you? You are the exception,
the equation that unraveled
every axiom I once believed.

I stopped asking why the universe
folded you back into my life.
Some gifts don’t need reasons—
only hands to hold them.

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3. Inventory of Miracles

You, teaching my hands to unclench.
You, a sanctuary with no closing hour.
You, the reason I no longer confuse
loneliness and solitude—
one is a wound, the other a bridge.

(And you? You are the crossing.)

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4. The Alchemy of Us

I used to think love was fire—
something to warm you or burn you.
But you are neither spark nor ash.
You are the oxygen,
the invisible thing
that makes the burning worth it.

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5. Elegy for the Old Me

I mourn nothing of who I was before you.
Let the past stay buried—
its hollowed-out gods,
its hunger for proof.
You are the only evidence I need now.

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6. Postscript

If this is all we get—
this fleeting, fragile now—
let me say it plainly:
You made the dark feel temporary.
You made my heart a place
worth coming home to.

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J

Forces that push and pull. Two polar opposites. My heart has seemed to fallen into the trenches. In dead man’s land. Unable to leave, stuck between feeling two ways.

I am noticed. Not as just another person but as an individual. A person that sees through all my faces and masks. A person that does not fear the unknown and darkness. They were enticed and could understand who I was. The sacrifices I made. The effort I put in. And the mindset that I carry. The person looked at me with open eyes filled with wonder. The person I deem worth smiling for.

The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself. Conflicting thoughts and the grey area between needs and want to need. In which one knows what consequently needs to be done but we want a different response that benefits our wants without compromising our needs.

Every door that opens another door closes. Very cliché I know. In this circumstance I know that sacrifices have to be made.

I am filled with many flaws and I tend to make decisive decisions even though I ended up switching them and contemplating. But recently. I keep myself completely accountable and dont try to fix situations. Once a decision is done before I start second guessing. I keep myself accountable for what I did in that instance. As I said if one door opens another closes so the path I chose, I chose for a reason. there is always a path to salvation.

I would like to believe that destinies are something that you are suppose become or reach. I would like to believe everything happens for a reason, whether that reason be for us or against us.

I’d like to look at my life as if destiny was doing an experiment. Things always tend to have a contradicting silver linings, no matter, which way I choose to go about it. Everything feels like a “I told you so” or ” you should’ve known”. Whether I choose to give in to scepticism or optimism, the answer remains the same. So then I wonder if my response even matters, since destiny always unfolds the same way.

I don’t know, I tread forward even if the world changes my direction. I look for peace in whatever chaos, I’m thrown in. I seek happiness even in places of despair. I don’t know if the point is to keep learning, or to trying till I get a different result. I guess to some regard I believe destiny is doing the same thing and hoping you end up where you suppose to be.

Trying to make reason of all realities, is impossible, for we will never know why somethings are where they are or how they got there. We won’t know why things work and others don’t. Searching for these answers leads to insanity and to one’s own demise, for I fear trying to understand and comprehend destinies and life, will take one down a road of self destruction and isolation.

I suppose destiny has something in-store for everyone and it’s better not knowing.

To come across something as special as this is a once in a lifetime experience. The value of meeting such a person is truly remarkable.

I’ve never felt so joyful and fulfilled. To meet someone so full of life and character. Carrying a divine light through their souls, popping colour into everything around them.

Their tenacity and unwaivering drive combusts with everything around them, lighting a fire in everyone’s hearts. With the resilience to overcome all hardships.

They are perfect example of embracing life for what it is and not what it isn’t. They are insightful, with resourceful wisdom and compassion.

Their atmosphere draws a room’s attention, as they can’t go unnoticed by all. Natural Charmers, who love life and the little things.

Like a book with no end, they always have something new to add and there is always something new to learn from them. They have a personality that makes the best person to be around, always feeling excited and ecstatic.

I feel blessed and honored to come across “god’s promise”.

I believe that everything has a different meaning to everyone. Two people could think of the same thing with two different corresponding answers. Its important to acknowledge differences and respect those views.

Now that I got that out of the way the real material can be brought to light. This concept of friendship is a gamble. The ability to put your trust in stranger and grow with them. Do you not think it is a little scary. If I look at it purely from a view of logic. Every friendship is on some level conditional thus meaning that if nothing is given, it doesnt benefit either party.

Some say friendship should be treasured over all else. It can be the glue that never breaks when times get rough. But no one ever wants to see the bad times. Because you never know how deep your friendships actually go unless you actually trust them and Wait. Which is something we cant change as everyone longs for time to be over just as soon as it started. I guess that is because we hate being helpless

Have you ever been knocked down so hard by life that your greatest streangth became you ultimate weakness?

Recently I have been feeling powerless with my words. I struggle to convey messages to people and talk. The net called censorship that has covered the world continues to make my voice dim and void.

I cant reach the ones i want to help and it is throwing all my hardwork to the wall. I am slowly losing things that gave me a sense of purpose. I am losing that little humanity that i have left. My words are the only thing keeping my vial of hope and purity from shattering.

It seems that to get where you want to be. You need to live in silence and disconnection whilst finding what you seek. I guess this is a new personal journey.

I have not found someone who is perfect but i have found someone who has exceeded my expectation.

Her innocence is something that i find magical as her eyes peer into my soul. She shows remarkable feminine qualities as she gratefully tip toes through life. She makes me give up on all my goals. I feel as if their is something on my heart. I love her but will tell her. She remains sacred to me and will forever be in my life as i wont let my life continue without her.

Moral of the story: life is like a stream it is something that will carry you throughout life without straying

When you have no reason to peer into the darkness yet you choose to. You soon begin to realise how you are become consumed in this feeling of loss and despair. You do not know where it comes from but what you do know is that it feels necessary.

I do not necessarily want to feel like this but it seems my existence is roped into this abyss. I have no malice for any person but I do not want to converse or associate with others. I will try to be compliant with the laws of life but other than that I’ll keep to myself. I no longer feel the need to provide for people and no need to help others more than needed.

All things need to come to a end at some point and thus being a saviour and a beacon of hope also has to stop. People need to stop being dependent on others and need to be self sufficient as they will crumble to the cycle of life. The truth of darkness and humans is that they compliment each other in people not needing others to cope and survive. But themselves as darkness is just a instrument to enforce that way of thinking .

We are led to believe that certain things happen in life by chance either being seen as a coincidence or miracle. Im not one to believe that things happen merely because its suppose to and that you cause what the outcome is.

Oh so recently i came across this tree which seem to blend in the background but upon closer inspection this i could see that it was just yearning to be noticed and acknowledged. From this tree looking faded and lifeless, it starting looking more lively and vibrant as keep coming by and interacting with it.

Over the weeks that ive come to know the tree. I saw its many shade and appearance which i found profoundly beautiful and exciting. It dawned upon me that even if me and the tree were different but alike.

I felt a deep connection with it always being able to be comfortable and we would always have something to talk about. I felt a great cherishment and nurturing around her as if they saw through me and accepted.

I have decided to always be there for the tree as it looks after me and with grow along side it through all thats ahead of us.

Have you ever done something or made a decision and regretted it only to realise how grateful you should have been?

As the beginning of this year dawned upon me. I was put in a position where i would have to make drastic and firm decision which in turn would result in consequences and sacrifice. I began off with cutting ties with some people as if it were severing my limbs apart. I realised that it has to be done in order for me to achieve self improvement as well as self growth.

A quote i once heard for told that if one wants to reach the top, you would have to do it by yourself as unfortunately people turn into weights that hold you down.

After a bit of time and solitude, I realised that Im only human thats all i can be. I cant be programmed to solely living me life to achieve with build connections. I am incapable of achieve with the human experience of connection and in doing so i realised that even though for me to achieve and be successful, I let people walk with me on my road to salvation.

I once believed that those who couldnt add on to your life, plagued it only to decay you effort and potential. I was wrong as they were actually heavenly fruits who were yet to be rippened. There was this ominous fruit that use to make fearful of what it could be, but through my time away from nurturing i came to a realisation that i shouldnt care what it will turn into but what it can become as long as i keep looking after it. Because just as much that i matter to it, it matters to me.

Even though the greenery looks like weeds of havoc it can always the potential to be tulips of happiness. It all depends on how you treat them and how you cherish them as you can determine how everything goes fo