Do you think that everyone deserves a second chance? A opportunity to start with a clean slate. To have all their misdeeds completely erased without being doubted. I am choosing to not be a pessimist. I want to genuinely believe that people can change if given a second chance.

The real question is, do you give them that second chance? I am not speaking of giving them a second chance on the surface, but deep down, at the core of your heart. Do you feel that you can erase all their misconducts from your heart and allow them into your heart again? I honestly would not know but I feel that everyone deserves a chance. Not that it can change their past convictions, but it could serve as parole.

To rebuild trust with others after shattering it, is not possible. You can however create a new trust which will not replace the previous one, but can serve as a beginning to a new bond.

It comes with it’s fair share of risks and consequences, but can only succeed by allowing yourself to be vulnerable. So I shall ask you again, is it possible for you to give someone a second chance?

Nothing is constant in this world. Everything is constantly changing and adapting to their current needs. Us as human beings are not the exception.

We crave the feeling of fulfillment. Which can only be met for short period of time until our needs change. It is a natural occurence, whoever it should not feel so painful.

The feeling of losing that significant other. It feels like you lose a piece of yourself once that person leaves, as if your heart was borrowed and never returned.

You pace through your mind, questioning what went wrong. If you did something wrong or were you just being used. The sad revelation is that as dusk fades to dawn so does the connection that we have with each other fade.

We can’t accept the devastating outcome as a normal phenomenon. It is a pain that makes you feel sinister and damaged. With eyes as cold as ice it pierces every soul that dares to approach the tyrant out of fear of experiencing hopeless love that won’t survive the depths of time.

The only enemy that resides infront of every person that waits for our demise is time. We should give in to acceptance and indulge the people that we spend our time with.

A boy with no comprehension of his aptitudes nor abilities is brought into a world of deception and oblivious conflict.

Growing up in the sanctum of his guardians. Naturally he moves through his life with purity and faith. Treating everyone with kindness and respect. He learns what it’s like to have people close to him who aren’t his guardians.

Even though he creates strong relationships with all his associates, he learns the cost of his kindness and how manipulative people are. Tainting his purity that he has only known. Now having this ominous cloak that begins to follow him.

Doubt begins to creep behind him and edging closer through all his encounters that occurred after his purity was corrupted. He begins to lose faith in the very morals that he believed in. Chooses to keep others at arms length and no one near his heart.

This damaged boy turns into the people that used to manipulate him. He realizes what he has become and how that affects his relationships with the ones that he cares about. He is afraid of who he might become if he continues going down that dark road, yet he is still afraid of trusting people. He takes a leap of faith in hopes that he might repent for his sins and his abrupt behaviour.

Knowing what may occur if he does choose to trust others. He believes that it is the only way and feels that it is his solemn duty to right his wrongs. Not to allow others to get the best of him, but to respond in the best way he can and keep trying to believe that others can change as he has.

This will be viewed from my perspective of my only goal in life.

What is the goal? Is it a time frame that you set for yourself to achieve a certain expectation? You have thoughts in your mind that ask if it is attainable? Is it something that you can really do? What might happen if there are unforeseen challenges that you cannot control and that you cannot prepare for?

It becomes the new reality that you have to adapt to in a seconds notice. It is not something that you have to be discouraged by. I choose to live with the state of mind that ” If there’s a will then there’s a way “. If you choose not to give up on goals and ideals ,then you can always make a plan B. Even if it takes you through the entire Alphabet. All you need is a strong resolve.

My lifelong goal is simplistic in the sense of the phrase. However the more you look into it, it becomes a bit more of a challenge. Like a painting with a thousand meanings. I want to have a family. A wife and 2 kids. It sounds a bit generic, but through my short life that I’ve lived. I’ve seen children that can’t afford to get a proper education due to financial issues. Seen timid children on the streets that have no choice, but to beg or steal due to the poverty in the area. I know that life is not fair and not everyone can be born with a silver spoon in their mouths, but it’s a sad sight to witness when a five year old walks up to you for some change to buy snacks to eat for supper.

It has opened my eyes to the circumstances that others around me face. I know that one person can’t solve poverty. However I would not want a child to fall into a life of crime. There are children in orphanages with no where to turn to, with parents who’ve abandoned them for substances. I feel that the least that I could do is offer a child a new life in my family. To provide them with the opportunity that they never had. Something that was taken from them without notice.

The goal seems so far down the line, and even if we are in a pandemic and life becomes more unbearable. I try and do my best to continue inching everso closely to my lifelong goal. To be able to be a man of integrity, a man of financial stability and a family man.

A man isn’t made through strength, he isn’t made over a day, he isn’t made based on society’s standards. He is made by the people he surrounds himself with and the people he protects.

A lifeless and rigid structure that is empty without any valuables. It is shell of that is there to shield the heart from all danger. From the things that can cause harm and agony. It withstands all the damage to preserve the vulnerable light from all the darkness.

It defends someone from all the unknown that is denounced to them. It has no purpose, but to make sure that one is not influenced by that vulgar beings that swarm around you. It may be filled with cuts and bruises, and can be on the verge of collapse it cares only for it’s contents and whether they are safe and secure. This can be seen as a selfless act and a self destructive one.

We take this from the perspective where the complex safety structure is lifeless, but what if I told that it was a person. It was protecting someone else’s heart to surrender to another. Imagine the pain that one could feel from doing such a torturous task. Being used, taking all the pain and then remembering what they are.

It’s a sad thing to envision where in actuality most of us are these boxes only being used. Whether we notice what is becoming of us or make the choice not to be a stepping stone of others. The heartbreaking truth is that even if we are not boxes ourselves, others become the boxes the present their values to us without even noticing until it’s too late. This becomes a never ending cycle of manipulation and extortion.

Love feels overrated in todays society. It does not exist and can’t withstand the threats of modern humanity. Always being overshadowed by greed, conflict and trust.

But there is always some part of me that still seeks it. A ever growing need to be part of something greater than yourself. Recieving a different kind a nurturing that is similar to a mother’s love for a newborn. Being the only people that have that unique connection that cannot be replicated or stolen from.

It is a frustrating dilemma to hope for love that can’t coexist with humanity. It is not allowed to flourish in this conceited world, where people feel the in to be above one another based on differences. It does not allow true affection to be conveyed through actions and connection but through materialistic and mechanical means.

Love can only be conveyed as a Rose. A blissful view that brings forth harmony in the midst of its kindness, engrossed by a sea of knife that impaled us with no remorse on our journey in achieving it.

It is a new year that suppose to be filled with new experiences and excursions, but I came into this year feeling nothing. Seems like another day closer to my deadline with no reason to continue putting in effort on things that may not matter. No reason to keep up this act of I’m okay.

My uncertainty is driving me to make decisions that I cannot accept. Always contradicting my thoughts like a constant war between my heart and my mind. With common ground between the two. I seek reconnection and overwhelming affection which seems light years away, only being able to imagine how that would feel.

Having dreams that might not equate to anything, but failure and disappointment. I want to believe in my ideals ,but it feels like I’m drifting ever so far from it. Knowing that I shouldn’t put all my time solely into one thing without the expectation of it fall apart before my very eyes. As they’ll become soulless with no intention of ever showing emotion again…

It is a scary thought to think of that my world might crumble to ash through anything sort of curb I might take. It has opened my eyes to how fragile we as humans really are. No matter how many times we go to the gym or how many people we have close to us. It all can end in one instance once you lose something that matters the most to you.

I can never understand people who have good hearts, and can always find the light in the shadows of others. Being able to do something from the purity of their hearts without having the slightest doubt or any animosity. I see it as human nature to want something without losing anything in return. Being selfish is a flaw that all have, but some have the inability to selfish. Allowing someone else’s needs to be above yours and being used is a trend that has occured to everyone at some point in their lives. It is the weakness of being selfless and leads to sadness and insecurity with becomes a liability.

The few that manage to stay as humbled as they are. They are the ones that I envy. Having the self restraint to never give up and being able to persevere.

I took the wrong road and I might not be able to turn back to the thing that I once was. The person I now envy. As we all make choices, we all have to deal with the consequences. I now have to face my persecutioners and serve my time. To be labeled as a shadow that hides behind fossils of what I once was and become everything I loathe.

The feeling that cannot be explained. It is something that carries uncertainty, however you wonder, is it something you have to run away from?

It is not something that you can stop. It is an irresistible attraction to a person like the ocean is attracted to the moon.

It is something that you cannot fathom as it builds up in your throat. It inches ever so closely until it just blows. It runs through your mind endlessly, constantly being the only thing you can think of.

It empowers you and is your greatest strength, giving you superhuman abilities to overcome all hardships. It guides you through every dark day that comes, with confidence knowing that you lived your life with joy and compassion. It allows you to reach new horizons that await you as you move through your days with a more passionate perspective and wholesome mentality.You feel uplifted, that nothing can break your spirit. You realise your potential and all the good you could do for others.

You begin to wonder where you would have been without this feeling. There are quite a few feelings that you could be led to such as joy and compassion. It is like a gateway drug. Once you get a taste of this feeling it leads to more intense feelings.

It is all about how you spend that time with this feeling, whether you choose to use it as a beacon of hope or seam of malice.

I would say that it is quite a rare feeling to acquire but is so simple. It does not appear for everyone in the same manner or form. Some believe what they want to believe, others lie to themselves to justify the reason that they are feeling this way.

You can be any person in any part of the planet but once you feel this feeling, you are reborn into a world without sin and hatred.

Everything has to come to an end at some point…

An abnormal feeling of being hurt. As if your heart was punctured by a thousand needles. You feel like you lost everything you felt as emotions begin to fade away. You become lost, searching endlessly for something that is missing. I experience the feeling of giving up and a compass leading no where, but to sadness.

You do not realise how much something hurts until you experience a robbery and they steal your most irreplaceable possession. Your Heart.You begin to lose hope and are at your lowest, almost having no purpose in life, but move along aimlessly in it until one day you fall.

You fall back into that nightmare you crawled out of. As you walk with devoid eyes that carry no sympathy nor charity. To be reincarnated and walk this earth as those who others fear most. To gouge and skewer those who impaled your kindness. To gut those who sliced your innocents. To sin on others who others value.

Note to self: Bury your possessions deep in the ground and never look back

It is not worth the risk. It’s better to never be found than stolen by another demon.

Life is a mystery with the inability to be conquered by all.

We live our lives looking for clues to the meaning of life and the purpose for our very existence. Not knowing how we came to be, but know that we are.

Throughout our lives we express our many untapped emotions, for better or worse. Whether it leads us down the dark abyss or towards the light of the skys above.

We have come to the realisation that we get to choose how we respond to actions that occur around us.

This is my story.

08:00 I am a very eccentric person with a extraordinary storytelling ability. I enjoy my days at school not for the learning of course, but the lessons I get taught through actions of others and how they overcome their obstacles or crumble before them. I observe my environment with a neutral ambiance. Being a spectator in my own life. It might sound sad but I am thoroughly fond of the thought. I create mental notes of others, acknowledging their strengths and weaknesses.

14:15 When the schoolday ends the real excitement starts. I get to walk home. Sounds very simple and mundane but it is a adventure and for some it would even be considered fighting an uphill battle. Do not get me wrong four kilometers is far ,but the journey is the reward that many cannot afford. Most do not have time for leisurely walks but the sacrifice that I make is worth every drop of sweat that is shed.

14:45 I have the honor of unraveling nature and all its beauty. From the changing of the tree’s leaves during autumn to the kindness of all the employees and there respective jobs. The route is a gorgeous scenic view that makes one forget about all that hardships that occurred the weekend before.

15:20 As I get home, the universe stops and I begin to slouch as my body begins to go numb with the liquid on my body providing to cool shiver. I free myself from my shackles that I have been burdened with from the moment that I lay my eyes to my blank canvas above.

15:30 The surface shifts below me as I collide against a soft, yet unforgiving cloud of thorns. Not knowing whether it will be my excutioner or savior.

15:40 I dose off in my meticulous dreams wondering what changed and what remained, with courtesy towards the unknown and spontaneous thoughts that I may have as emotions flood through my being. I try to cease every moment I spend within myself, trying to reach what is buried in the mist of my mind…

15:55 Feeling uneasy I stand up and take a moment to come back to reality and brush off my thoughts with hunger compelling me and overshadowing what I felt before. I carry a watchful eye knowing that anytime I might be interrupted by my meddlesome angels.

16:00 Upon their arrival I am at peace keeping myself in check. Allowing myself to be distracted until everything dissipates. I pour my attention into the my guardians who guide me as I walk through this treacherous road known as life. I start to reminisce on my life before them which seems to have no worth without them. Just as swift as they came they vanish not knowing when it my be the last.

19:30 I wait for the warden to provide me with my meal, the only thing I bare to look forward to. With a hope that it would be enough to please even the rats around. I eat my full taking down every last bit of dirt that I could manage with a foul taste that leaves my mouth.

22:00 I begin to think as I lay with my sins. Slowly dosing into what might be my internal slumber. Moving into this realm that I do not recognize, but welcome it with open arms. I experience a cycle of events that are yet to happen, dormant whilst time moves forward…

06:00 I am abruptly woken up by the warden wishing me a safe trip to my demise.

I have hope that the day has a new meaning for me to discover…